Tag Archives: struggles

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Posted by Jo on October 27, 2011 None comments

So, I finally went to the Dr. yesterday.  It’s been weeks since I felt like myself.  My chest has been feeling very heavy and recently I have had some burning and coughing.  Day before yesterday I finally made an appointment to see my doctor.

They said to come in yesterday and if it got worse overnight to go into the ER.  So that’s what we did, we went into the office yesterday.  Doc says I have Pleurisy.  Which is basically just inflammation of the protective lining around the lungs.  This is odd to me because normally an infection or some sort of trauma occurs to cause such a thing to happen.  None of which has happened to me recently.

Disease can also be a factor, so now I am left to wonder if I have something else going on with my body.  Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus were the two that stuck out in my mind, but I’m sure there are others.  I have been having problems with a lot of joint pain an weakness lately, but I don’t want to be one of “those” kind of people, you know the ones who think every ache and pain means they are dying of some mysterious illness….

Anyway, there it is.  I finally went to the Dr. and there was something wrong and we are hopefully fixing it.

See you around, til then,

To Sell or Not To Sell??

Posted by Jo on October 20, 2011 2 comments

I have been thinking about selling my wedding ring set to pay off our last bit of debt that we have.  It is just over $4,000.00 and if I sold my set and my hubby’s band, we could pay it off and be done with it for good.  I really don’t want to sell them, but it would really help us out financially.  In fact, it would save us almost $200 a month in payments.

That might not sound like a lot to most people but when you rely on support checks every month to pay your bills and you are only at about 10%, that’s a lot…

And since I don’t want to be without a wedding ring, I have been looking at getting a simple titanium wedding band.  Nothing, extravagant, obviously, but it would have to make a statement, cause, after all, I am ME! :)

So, how about it? What would you do if you were this close to being debt free??

She’s not my “little” girl anymore….

Posted by Jo on June 15, 2011 None comments

Well, we recently went through a rough spot, you might call it, with our daughter, but she seems to be coming around now.   She’s 14…need I say more??  Probably not…

She has always been a good child and always wanted to please her dad and I, but lately, she has wanted to do her own thing and didn’t really care what we had to say about it.  It was really kind of exasperating.  She felt like we were being unfair and refused to see our point of view about a situation.

My husband prayed with her and had her do some praying and extra bible reading and I really think she is coming around now.  I am thankful that she does have a tender heart and that she has a heart for God and want to do right.

Although My husband and I are far from perfect parents, we have raised our daughter right and she knows what she is supposed to be doing and not supposed to be doing and I just have to trust that if we lovingly but firmly guide her back when she begins to stray that God will keep her where she needs to be.  So far so good, I will continue to pray for her and guide her the best I can and leave the rest up to God…

Doing The Hard Work…

Posted by Jo on May 4, 2011 2 comments

Since starting a new “diet” (it isn’t really a diet, so much as a healthier lifestyle) last fall and then stopping it around the holidays, I have lost weight and gained it back and lost some again…

I have had similar results in the past.  I have struggled for about 16 years or so I have finally just come to the point where I am tired of it all.  I am going to make the change and not go back.  I am changing my eating habits and getting more exercise and I am going to make those changes permanent.

I got to thinking, after reading some lipozene reviews, that I don’t want anything artificial or chemical in my body to help me loose weight.  Because I cannot imagine that the weight loss will be permanent, and I don’t want to have to take  a weight loss drug for the rest of my life.

I want to eat right and exercise and be healthy.  In doing so, as long as my body needs to, it will shed weight.  And when it no longer needs to, it will stop.  Now, I am not saying I will never enjoy a candy bar or a piece of cake, but on a day-to-day basis, I will consciously make an effort to choose healthy foods that will not cause me to gain unnecessary weight.

I am also going to make a concerted effort to get more exercise.  I will not be running any marathons any time soon or even working out for hours a day, but I will be getting some form of exercise, hopefully, daily.

Do you need to get healthy?  Have any tips on getting healthy? Do you have a great healthy recipe you would like to share?? Have any ideas on how to get me moving??? Leave me a comment!!! :mrgreen:

I’m not a Fanatic!!

Posted by Jo on April 23, 2011 None comments

Some may look at my new woe (way of eating) and think, I am being a little extreme. Well, in a way, I guess I am. I really need to take some weight off. Not only for my physical health, but for my mental health, too. I know that sounds funny, but I really haven’t been happy about my body for a long time. I don’t want to be a size 2 or anything, but I want to feel comfortable in my clothes and buy things I really like, not just what will fit!!!

But I had tried different things before, diets and exercise, and hadn’t really seen the changes I wanted. And even when I did, as soon as I stopped the diet and/or exercising as much, I gained the weight back.

So, I am committing, in front of God and everyone, to this new lifestyle.

As most of you know, Buster and I started “Let’s Do Lunch” (LDL) back in September. He lost almost 30# and I lost just over 15#. Not bad since we started September 1st and that weight loss was recorded in November!! So I know this works and it is very healthy and good for you. It’s not a fad diet that you can’t stay on and once you have done it for a while, it actually takes away most of your cravings for things you shouldn’t have!!

At Thanksgiving Buster and I decided to go off the plan and enjoy the holidays. I could just cry now thinking about all the weight I could have lost in the 4-5 months I was off the plan!!! But, I can’t change that now , all I can do is stick to it from this day forward (actually Monday forward). And, I DID enjoy the holidays!! Although, I think I could have enjoyed them without going off the plan…

All that said, I have been doing LDL again since Monday and while I might not do it perfectly ALL THE TIME, I am going to do the best I can. That’s not to say I will never have things I shouldn’t, like last night when I had a sliver of pizza while out with friends, but I will have as little as possible of those things to satisfy my craving. I will not sit and have 3-4 pieces of pizza in one sitting like I would have before.

Stay tuned, I will be reporting on my weight loss, posting my food journal, and posting recipes on here to keep ya’ll updated on my progress…anyone wanting to join me, feel free to post your questions, food journals and/or progress in the comments…with God’s help We CAN DO THIS!!!! Feel free to pray for me and I will pray for you!!!

$100 a week for GAS?????

Posted by Jo on April 22, 2011 None comments

Buster had been saying for months that we really needed to get a different vehicle to take the girl to school with, because we were spending almost a $100 a week in gas alone. So, when we got our income tax return back which was dismal, at best, we went down the road and bought the neighbors little Neon.

It’s been a pretty good little car for what we paid for it!!! We’ve put almost as much into it as what we paid, though!! Oh well. We are only paying a little more than half of what we were for gas, so…

Then all we had to do was put the cheapest car insurance on the truck that we could. Which ended up being storage coverage. Cause you never know when a tree is gonna fall or softball size hail is gonna “attack” your vehicle!!!

I have a feeling we will be laying this car to rest before we can trade it or sell it but, it’s getting us where we need to go for now!!! :)

?????

Posted by Jo on March 31, 2011 None comments

What is wrong with WordPress today?? I can’t make corrections without deleting everything already written, I can’t highlight anything, I can’t center anything….AAAAHHHH!!!! I have to write everything in the html tab….

HELP!!!

Struggles…

Posted by Jo on February 28, 2011 3 comments

As you can probably tell from my last post, I suffer from low self esteem, I think I always have.   I have never thought myself worthy of any one’s love or affection. 

I guess it all stems from my childhood.  As a child, I moved around a lot.  I was in the care of my mother, my grandparents, my dad, my other grandmother (and my dad together), my dad and step-mom, and finally a babysitter who eventually adopted me.

I didn’t have much stability or consistency growing up and I think it made me wonder what was so wrong with me that no one wanted to stick around.  Whether that was actually the reason for people coming into and then leaving my life, that’s what it felt like.

All my life I felt like a burden.  The people who didn’t leave,  didn’t do me any favors by staying.  Sometimes it’s better to just let go.  If you can’t build someone up and love them and make them feel wanted, then why bother? Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?? Do whatever they can to make their kids feel wanted and loved?? 

And aren’t we supposed to teach our kids??  Teach them what is right and what is wrong??  Teach them not only by telling them what to do, but also by example?? ”Train them up  in the way they should go”…isn’t that what the Bible says??

When will we realize that what we “do” to our children has a direct result on “what” and who they become?  I realize that we do make our own choices and can’t hold others responsible for our actions, but there is no denying that our upbringing does affect “who” we are!!  Everything we go through makes up who we are…it’s important to be good to those we love and put into them what we wish to get out…    

darkness…

Posted by Jo on February 25, 2011 2 comments

as i sat here this afternoon a wave of emotion washed over me. i wouldn’t say a bad wave, but it did make me cry. i thought about all the people in my life who have tried to help me. all the people in the treatment centers i was in that helped me. the people who worked in the psych wards i was in. the people who made it their job to make sure i was okay.

 some of the people in my life actually did help me. they helped me see past my own sad little self to see the bigger picture. after all, the world really doesn’t revolve around me. and some of them really didn’t help me. they belittled me and degraded me, made me feel bad about who i am. i guess, in a way, they did help me. they helped me realize what and who i DID NOT WANT to be. showed me that i wanted to go in the opposite direction that they went.

 i thought about the choices i have made and the directions i decided to go in. i know there are people out there who think i am a waste of the time and effort they “put into me”… they have written me off as a “lost cause”, someone who will never be a good person. and i wonder, are they right? was i worth it?? am i ever going to be a good enough?  then you have the ones who told me none of us are good, we can’t be cause we are dirty rotten sinners (which is true). so i guess i have my answer…

i know God has a purpose for everyone and everything…blah blah blah…i wonder, though, was my purpose to make people realize that there are just some things in life that are not worth putting your time and effort into?? was i put on this planet to make sure that those who crossed my path would learn that no matter how hard you try, some people are always just going to let you down??

my adoptive parents have said (on more than one occasion, mind you) that they wish they had never adopted me.  that says a lot to me about how they feel about me.  and really, they raised me, lived with me, know me the best, so they should know me better than anyone, right?

but then there are people in my life who say they love me and act like they love me…maybe this is because they feel sorry for me?? like, dude, she is really screwed up and no one really wants her, so let’s be nice to her…

i don’t know, i really don’t.  but i can’t help how i feel and right now this is it.  i want to be happy and upbeat and i want to be all “God is good” and all that but right now, i really just don’t have it in me…

please Lord, help me in my time of need…help me to seek the Light in the darkness, before the darkness consumes me…

Addiction…

Posted by Jo on February 4, 2011 1 comments

After having to quit smoking and drinking at different times in my life, I have come to a clear conclusion…

I find that the best way not to get addicted to something is to never start “doing it” to begin with!  I know, it’s like I’m a genius or something, right?? LOL

Have you ever seen someone go through opiate detox, or alcohol detox or even just quit smoking?  It’s hard on the mind, body and soul!

So, take it from someone who knows…stay away from bad stuff to begin with and then you won’t have to worry about it!!!

See you around…

a book? really??

Posted by Jo on November 29, 2010 None comments

someone recently suggested to me that i write a book about my life story.  he says the work the Lord has done in my life is amazing and that i should write about it.  he says i have turned out to be a fine Christian woman because i haven’t let the circumstances of my life get me down.  i don’t know about all that, but, i have started writing what might become “the story of my life”…stay tuned, it’s about to get interesting up in here!!!

Hmmm…

Posted by Jo on November 29, 2010 None comments

Did you know that tea tree oil treats acne?  Neither did I.  You can learn something new everyday!!!

I have never had a major problem with acne, myself.  The occasional breakout, yes, but nothing I have ever needed treatment for.  But I have had friends who suffered greatly with acne and some who still do.

My question is…why would people spend hundreds of dollars on acne treatments that can dry the skin, cause damage to healthy skin, and sometimes even cause major health problems when they could use something natural to clear their skin and prevent future break-outs?

The short answer to that is probably that not everyone’s acne can be cleared up the same way.  Some will get results from natural remedies and some will not.  Some will get results from harsh chemical treatments and some will not.  I guess its a matter of finding what works best for you, and also finding out how important clear skin is to you.

Would you risk life and limb for perfect skin??

Hmmm???