Hot Diggidy Blog Diggidy, What You Do To Me

ok, here i sit at my computer wondering if i should even “put this out there”.  i feel the need to get this of my chest lest i act upon my “urges”.  i want to cut.  i want to feel the pain.  i want to see the sweet red stain.  i want to feel the soft warm trickle.  i want to feel the light headed giddy feeling of euphoria, its almost like having wings.  the rush of adrenaline, the thought that if i slip it could all end here and now.  there is nothing like it.  i am told it is wrong to feel this way, but my mind tells me it is ok.  my mind tells me that if i just give in and do it, everything will be better.  the headache will go away, the thoughts will stop tormenting me, there will be sweet peace.  quietness.  the pain i feel with the swipe of the blade will cover the pain i feel in my heart.  it will silence the thoughts that swarm in my head.   everything will be better.