As my kidlets have gotten older, I have gotten better.  After the first one, it actually got better anyway.  I think that’s pretty normal.  With the first one, you lecture everyone about how they need to baby proof everything before you can visit.  You make sure they have everything taken care of from the knob locks to the pool safety covers.  It’s quite ridiculous the measures you go to to ensure the safety of the first child. By the time the second and  third come along, it’s old hat and you have chilled out quite a bit.

Your friends and family don’t dread having you come over for fear that you are going to sanitize everything your child will come in contact with including their dog.  And they don’t have to worry that you are going to ask them to ‘please put away your figurines so I don’t have to tell my child no’.  For the record, I do not do this but I have had people come to my home and ask me to do this and no, I’m not kidding.

Anywho, now that one is in heaven and is quite safe and the other is 15, I don’t worry nearly as much about them getting hurt while playing.  At least not like that.  Now I worry about ‘The Girl’ getting a Volleyball or Track injury.  Or heaven forbid when she does end up taking drivers ed and getting her license, her getting in a fender bender….

Crap!

She has always been a good child and always wanted to please her dad and I, but lately, she has wanted to do her own thing and didn’t really care what we had to say about it.  It was really kind of exasperating.  She felt like we were being unfair and refused to see our point of view about a situation.

My husband prayed with her and had her do some praying and extra bible reading and I really think she is coming around now.  I am thankful that she does have a tender heart and that she has a heart for God and want to do right.

Although My husband and I are far from perfect parents, we have raised our daughter right and she knows what she is supposed to be doing and not supposed to be doing and I just have to trust that if we lovingly but firmly guide her back when she begins to stray that God will keep her where she needs to be.  So far so good, I will continue to pray for her and guide her the best I can and leave the rest up to God…

]]> http://blog-diggidy.com/index.php/2011/06/shes-not-my-little-girl-anymore/feed/ 0 http://blog-diggidy.com/index.php/2011/02/back-to-the-spanking-discussion/ http://blog-diggidy.com/index.php/2011/02/back-to-the-spanking-discussion/#comments Thu, 17 Feb 2011 21:11:52 +0000 Jo http://blog-diggidy.com/?p=3709 Why is it that people are so against biblical discipline?  The Bible says some very direct things about spanking children to correct them.  I think if more people took their parenting advice from the Bible and/or godly counsel, we would have a lot less problems with our kids today…

(Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15)

Children who are not disciplined in the correct manner more often than not, turn out to be rebellious, having no respect for authority and since they cannot submit to their “earthly” authority, they often have difficulty submitting to their ultimate authority, God.

  Someone recently made a comment about adults (spouses) being brought up on charges for such behavior…PLEASE!!  Spanking a child and physically abusing your spouse are two very different things!!!  And spanking your child should be very different than physically abusing them!!!  Also it was said that spanking creates anger and anger gets in the way of learning…both my children were spanked as young children and both of them are very well behaved and very smart so I’m not sure that is accurate.

Let me make it clear that I do not think a teacher should be allowed to spank a child, especially in a public school!  But I think it’s every parent’s God given right to spank their child.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, if done CORRECTLY this can be a very effective way of correcting unwanted/bad behaviour.  If done incorrectly, it can lead to a bad attitude, anger and disrespect.  Spanking should never be done as  way to vent or take out frustration.

Here is something I read online and I agree with whole-heartedly …”Discipline is used to correct and train people to go in the right way.  No discipline is pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11)

 ”God’s discipline is loving, as should it be between parent and child. Physical discipline should never be used to cause lasting physical harm or pain. Physical punishment should always be followed immediately by comforting the child with assurance that he/she is loved. These moments are the perfect time to teach a child that God disciplines us because He loves us and that, as parents, we do the same for our children.”

Now, that being said… other forms of discipline, such as “time-outs,” can be used instead of physical discipline.  Parents often find that their children do not respond well to spankings . Some parents find that “time-outs,” grounding, and/or taking something away from the child can be more effective in encouraging behavioral change.  If that is the case,  a parent should employ the best methods for the needed behavioral change. While the Bible undeniably advocates spanking, I think God is more concerned with the goal of building godly character than the particular method used. 

 I asked my daughter if she thought she or her brother were abused in any way (they were both spanked when needed when young children) and she said no way. I asked her if she thought she would spank her kids if and when she has them and she said absolutely, no question.  My son wrote letters to me, Buster and Pumpkin_seed the night before he died (he was 10 when he was killed in an auto-accident) and he actually thanked Buster for spanking him when he needed it!!! A 10 year old boy said that!! I think that says it all right there…he didn’t feel angry or upset or abused, he was THANKFUL!!!

quotes KJV Bible and this source

Do you think that withholding food is an acceptable form of discipline?  For example, sending a child to bed early without supper. 

 Was this form of discipline used on you? Does this impact your reasoning to use/not use this form of discipline? 

I KNOW you have an opinion on this subject, EVERYONE does, come on, don’t be shy, tell me what you think!!! I will even share my opinion to help us get started…

I personally believe we are supposed to spank our children.  I think the Bible teaches it as an acceptable way to correct our children (when done properly). That isn’t to say that I think we should just hit our kids for no good reason.  As someone commented yesterday, I think that spanking is an effective way to teach children that more often than not, bad choices will lead to painful consequences. That pain won’t always be physical,but that is the point that should come across to the child. 

I think spanking should always be on the bottom (or the fatty part of the back of the leg can be effective, too). I like to kid and say that’s why God gave us padding back there, but I think there is a little truth in that!  I don’t think slapping a child across the face or pulling their hair is acceptable for any reason (this is disrespectful and degrading behavior and I never came away from these punishments with the right attitude).

I don’t think  a parent should EVER spank in anger.  I think that is the biggest mistake made when using this type of correction. It is easy to hurt a child when you spank them when you are out of control with anger (breaking a 1 1/2 in thick bread board over a child’s back, bottom and legs is a sign that you are too angry to be spanking appropriately).  You should send them away to “think about” their punishment and wait until you are in control before you administer the spanking.

I think that you should plan on how many spankings the child will be receiving, depending on the offense.  I think the child should know in advance what to expect.  For instance, you get 2 “swats” for disrespect.  You get 4 “swats” for lying, and so on and so forth.  That way the child KNOWS what he/she has coming to them based on their behavior.  I think a healthy fear of the parent is a good thing, but I don’t think a child should ever be terrified of their parents, especially when it comes to correction. 

Correction of a child should be exactly that, a correction (this is what you did wrong, this is the consequence, this is how to do the right thing). It should never be a matter of, you made me angry by breaking my rules, now you will pay. Correction of the child should always be done in love.  When the spanking is over, your child should KNOW you love them. Your child should walk away from a spanking with a renewed attitude and wanting to do better next time.  If your child is angry and bitter at the end of his/her spanking, he/she hasn’t learned the lesson they should have.

One thing I would like to add about child-rearing that has nothing to do with spanking, but is relevant to the discussion…I think it’s important that your child knows that you don’t make rules for them to be mean or so that they won’t have fun. Or, just because you “say so”.  I can tell you from experience, that kind of parenting may work for a time, but it will ultimately lead to rebellion and defiance.  The rules set for a household should be based on the Bible.  What you can and can’t do should have a biblical basis.  We teach/taught our kids that we do this or that or don’t do this or that because God made us and knows what is best for us and His word says…and that was the reasoning for what we should and shouldn’t do.  And also, some things please God  and some things don’t and we should always try to please God in what we do. 

At the moment, I think this is my favorite blue item!!  This is Pumpkins_seeds school picture from this year.  She is growing up so fast!!                       

For more Blue Monday findings, visit SmilingSally!!  HAPPY BLUE MONDAY!!

Just so you all know, this is not a paid post or review!!  I just happened to see  this on Good Morning America this morning.  Actually, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do my Talk About Tuesday  post about today and then I saw it….right on my television!!  

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon.com, finally listened to the public and started a campaign to change the packaging on toys they sell.  You know, the packages that you have to have a chain saw or a jack hammer to get into.  I don’t know how many times I have sliced myself open trying to get a package open.  Everything from batteries to Barbies is packaged in that hard plastic that you have to have a 25 year college degree to get into without hurting yourself or someone else!  UUUGGHHH!!

Well, have you won’t have to put up with it to much longer.  Some products, from what I hear have already been packaged differently.  Jeff says they are starting with the most popular items first and working their way down to all products sold!!  WWOOOHHOOO I will no longer dread opening gifts!!

This is my 100th post!!!  And I’m so glad to be sharing it as a Wordful Wednesday Post!!!  This is Pumpkin_seed’s school picture for this year.  She looks so grown up and beautiful, if I do say so myself.  And no, I.am.not.biased.at.all!! ok, maybe just a little, but don’t judge me, you would be too!! 

I am the proud Mama of a 12 year-old!!!! I can’t believe it’s been that long!! She has grown up so fast!! I couldn’t be more proud of the “little lady” she is becoming!! She is still scrawny, but she is getting taller!! She’ll be taller than me in no time (course, that doesn’t take much, but….). I love her so much, I can’t put it into words, but I wanted to tel her something today…I’ll let her read this later….

To my darling 12 year old. I fell in love with you when I was three months pregnant with you. I hadn’t even laid eyes on you yet. Didn’t even know for sure if you were a girl or a boy. But I had a feeling you were a girl. MY girl. I thought of all the things we would do together. How I would braid your hair and teach you how to sit, talk, and act like a lady. I thought about dressing you up in ribbons and ruffles, all in pink, how we would have tea parties with your dolls and stuffed animals. How someday you would go to school and how proud I would be, and I was.

I thought about how you would eventually like boys and what I would tell you when you did. Well, things have changed a lot since then and you do like boys!! Well, just one that I know of. I know you smile whenever you say his name and I know are excited to think that he might like you, too. You have the rest of your life to enjoy these things, please don’t be in a hurry to grow up. You only get to be a child once and only for a short time. I know it seems like it takes for ever to be a grown up and there are rules and chores and school and it seems like a lot, but you wait, one day you will wish for the days when you were a kid!! Just remember, my sweet girl, if he’s right for you it will happen in God’s time.

Remember that you can always talk to me about anything no matter what!! I will always be your biggest fan and nothing you could say or do will ever change that. Please remember that Daddy and I make rules to keep you safe from harm and to keep you happy in the long run. Remember your purity (mind, body and soul) should be held close and dear to you. Besides your salvation it is your most treasured “possession” at this point in your life. Keep It!! Now , go out there with God’s grace and show the world what you’re made of!! I love you today, tomorrow, and always!!! Happy Birthday sweety, Hugs and Prayers… Love Mommy…