Category Archives: thoughts

Frustrated

Posted by Jo on November 22, 2011 None comments

I passed out again this afternoon.  It is amazing to me that you can do things like this for no apparent reason.  Dr.’s can run tests.  take pictures of your brain.  Draw Blood. They can find cysts on your brain that are doing nothing.  they can tell you everything is normal.  And yet, you are still passing out…

How can that be?  Something must be causing this.

And now I am having this mysterious chest pain and shortness of breath that makes me cough.  The Dr. thought it was pleurisy, so he put me on meds for inflammation of the lining of the lungs.  I took it, but he said it could be weeks before I see an improvement (which I have not seen yet), so I don;t want to call him yet and tell him I am not feeling any better yet, because it might be too early for me to be feeling any better…

So, I am felling very frustrated.  I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!   It’s been since March that I have been dealing with this passing out issue and it’s been a month or more that my chest has been bothering me.  It feels like someone is sitting on my chest  about 90% of the time and I can’t take a full breath about 50% of the time.  And I have this ache in my chest and shoulders.  And sometimes I get sharp pains, but not very often.  I cough quite a bit and especially when I think about it or talk about it (I have issues about being able to breathe).

Being sick all the time wears on you.  I am grumpy all the time and my husband is getting sick of me being short tempered, but sometimes I just can’t help it.  I’m tired and don’t feel good ALL.THE.TIME.  Something has got to change! I have to have some answers and soon! I am going insane!!

I hope everyone else is having a better fall than I am, Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!

I’ll be seeing you,

 

 

 

Seven Years Ago Today…

Posted by Jo on November 5, 2011 None comments

Seven years ago today my life turned upside down.

Seven years ago today my life turned inside out.

Seven years ago today my worst nightmare came true.

Seven years ago today I had to say good bye to my ten year old son forever (worldly speaking, that is).

Seven years ago today God took that precious boy home to live with Him and forever changed me.  I wish I could say it was for the better, but I just don’t know that I can.  Maybe some day…

I know God has a reason for everything he does.  Things don’t just randomly happen, I know that deep down, I do!! But I just feel so broken sometimes.  Sometimes I just feel like there is nothing that can fix this, ya know?

But God can…

He won’t bring Eli back, it’s not that He can’t, but He won’t.  There is a reason.  We don’t know why, but it’s for our own good that we suffer.  I know it sounds strange, but there MUST be something good that comes from this or it wouldn’t be happening.

I know that’s how God works.  I feel God working in my life.  Most times I feel the energy He puts off like I can reach out and touch it! It’s awesome and I love it.  I love to tell others about Jesus and what He’s done for them!!

Other times I feel like it’s this crazy roller coaster and I just wanna get off for a while cause it’s making me dizzy and sick! Like it’s all just too much.  I think that is the devil just wanting me to give up!

Well, I just want to tell the devil, you can’t have me…I am on the winning side!  I have Jesus and so did my son!

So for all those out there who have lost those you love or who are suffering in some way, please, don’t suffer alone.  God loves you and He sent His son to show you that!  Please see My Romans Road page for more information!!

YeeHaw!!

Posted by Jo on October 21, 2011 None comments

We live kinda out in the middle of no-where.  Our road is one of the last to get plowed in he winter.   It get’s pretty tricky trying to get in and out of camp in the dead of winter!

This is why the hubster takes the girl to school all winter long.  He’s such a good hubby! This is one of the many reasons I love him so!

I’m still waiting for him to put some tire chains on the car and let me have at it!! :) Oh, the fun I could have! Of course, I’d probably spend more time in the ditch than on the road, but hey, I would have a lot of fun!! :)

Carry on, and remember,

BBBRRRR….

Posted by Jo on October 18, 2011 None comments

So I heard that since we had such a nice summer, we are in for a really bad winter.  Did anyone else hear this?  I heard it is supposed to get really super cold and we are in for a lot of snow.

Of course, I heard that about last year, too and it wasn’t that bad.  So, I guess we’ll see.  I mean, we got snow, but I don’t remember it being all that terrible compared to years past.

I am going to be prepared though.  I’m gonna go get me some of these really cool heated gloves I found online.  Those will keep me warm all winter!! :)   Gonna have to stock up on batteries, though…

Carry On

Are you a “Scrapper”?

Posted by Jo on October 17, 2011 None comments

I love the idea of scrap-booking.  I love looking at scrap-books and would love to get into scrap-booking myself, but I am creatively challenged.  :)

I have all these ideas swirling around in my head but getting them from there to the book is a challenge.  They somehow get lost in the “translation” somehow.  I really don’t understand it.  I see it in my head and it’s beautiful, but getting it on paper, so to speak, is a nightmare.  I cannot make it happen.

I have some of the stuff to start a couple scrapbooks, too somewhere.  My hubby’s aunt gave it to me.  I really should just sit down and see if I can do something with it, if I can find it now…

Well, anyway, maybe I’ll work on it and post some pictures of what I come up with, if anything.

Til next time…

LURKERS!

Posted by Jo on October 7, 2011 4 comments

How in the world is it that I have over 10,000 page views every month but only a hand full of comments on this here blog??

HHhhmmm??

That tells me that I have a lot of people that come and look and read but they don’t tell me what they think!!

I wonder why that is?  Is it because you don’t agree with what is being said here and don’t want to be confrontational? Are you afraid you’ll hurt my feelings?  Don’t wanna ruffle my  feathers??  ;)

Or are you just shy and don’t wanna say Hi??

It’s okay, you don’t have to be shy, I won’t bite!! I promise! You can say Hi!! You can share your opinion here! I like to “hear” other people’s opinions on things.  It takes all kinds to make the world go ’round friends! If we were all exactly the same or all thought exactly the same how boring would that be!?!

So, please, if you stop by, don’t be shy, say Hello and leave me a comment…if you try one of the recipes, let me know how you like it…if you have a great recipe I might like, leave it for me to try!! I love gluten-free, sugar-free recipes!!

Come back soon, and as always…

Thinking…

Posted by Jo on October 3, 2011 None comments

Some times I think about what could have been if I had done things differently.  Do you ever do that?  It can be a bad thing.  It can be good, too, I guess.  If you aren’t careful, it can be very dangerous.  We cannot change the past, friends.  We can only move forward and not make the same mistakes we made in the past.

When my son was a still a baby, I decided to go to school to be a Medical Assistant.  it was a 13 month program.  I loved it.  I graduated with honors! Turns out I was really good at it and actually knew what I was doing!

The only problem was that just before graduation, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, which wouldn’t have been a problem, except when I had her, I got really sick and never got to go to work.

In fact, I was so sick, my husband had to take several weeks off of work to take care of my daughter  and I.  So, I never got to go to work in a Dr.’s office and I never got to shop for cute discount medical uniforms. It’s all very sad, I know.  It makes me wonder what I could have done with my life had I made different choices.  Had I decided to go on meds before I did, I may have been able to get a job AND raise my kids, maybe not…I guess we will never know.

I am all about not second guessing yourself.  I AM all about giving thing to God allowing Him to carry your burdens and moving on with life, because He allows things to happen for a reason. I am also all about allowing yourself to breath and relax and enjoy life and not sweat the small stuff.

So, when you get to thinking about all the things you could or should have done, relax and breath, if it should have happened, it would have happened, God makes no mistakes!!   :)

Some Day…

Posted by Jo on July 6, 2011 None comments

Some day, after we sell our house, or when we become rich and famous, whichever comes first, the hubster and I would like to add on to the little house we live in.  It’s nice and cozy and isn’t really a bad little house at all, but there is no storage at all and really no room to entertain, which we would love to do if we had the space.

We have been talking about some of the things we’d like to do.  We have discussed putting in a dishwasher.  Maybe adding a few more cupboards to the kitchen.  I figured while we are working on the kitchen, and since we plan on staying here forever, why not make  my ideal kitchen….nice gas range with sealed burners and the center burner, dishwasher, one of those undermount sinks, a side by side fridge, you know, the works.  If were gonna do, we might as well do it big!!

Go big or go home, I always say!!!   :)

Then we’d like to add a nice size family room and make what is now living room into dining area and make the “dining” area more kitchen area.  Just to make it so everything isn’t on top of everything else.

Also, we are thinking a bigger master bathroom might be nice.  With a tub in it.  Right now our bathroom only has a shower.  Which most days is fine, but sometimes I like to soak in a nice warm bath and I have always wanted one of those jacuzzi bath tubs!!

Anyway, it’s a long ways off and nothing we can’t live without for now and we are content with what we have, but hey, a girl can dream , can’t she???   :)

At a loss…

Posted by Jo on June 6, 2011 None comments

For those of you who know me, you know this is something odd…that I would not know what to say…

It’s not so much that I don’t know what to say, so mush as I don’t want to say too much or say the wrong thing.

Just know that there is a lot going on with me right now.  I need some prayer, please. Some of what is going on is not going on “with” me, and doesn’t even really directly affect me, but it shakes me to the core that the devil is attacking  so “close to home”.

And the other stuff I’m going through is going on “with” me, but I am in prayer about it and I am seeking God’s guidance and His will in this situation, which is always hard because as a human being, I rely too much on my feelings and emotions…Of course, I never want to do anything that will cause anyone pain, especially my family and myself.

Please friends, keep your loved ones close to you, tell them and show them you love them every chance you get.  Be slow to anger and quick to forgive, for we are not promised a tomorrow to try again!!!

Aging Myself, Again

Posted by Jo on May 24, 2011 1 comments

Anyone remember when those nose strips came out???  You know the ones that were claimed  to get rid of blackheads on noses??

I haven’t seen a commercial for them in a while.  I wonder if that’s because they were a flop, or if the fad has just died down.

They were pretty popular there for a while.  Anyone ever use them?? Did they work for you??

I bought them a couple times but don’t really remember them working all that well…

I really need to get well so I don’t have so much time to sit around and think so much!! LOL

All I Can Say Is Wow!

Posted by Jo on May 21, 2011 None comments

Was reading a story online today about a man who was awarded $19.2 million with the help of a Bronx Medical Malpractice Attorney.

After being admitted to the hospital for severe back pain,  hospital doctors failed to do an MRI until he had been in the hospital for 2 weeks, therefore missing the spinal abscess that by then had already done damage, leaving him paralyzed from the chest down.  My question is what were they waiting for?  What were they doing??

I guess he has had to live separated from his wife and children due to his home not being handicap accessible and not having the medical equipment available necessary for his family to care for him at home.

The comment that struck me was that the guy’s lawyer said that ” taxpayers should applaud such verdicts since the hospital will now pay for his future medical care, instead of the government”, which I think goes without saying!  I mean, really, they were at fault, they should pay!!

Blessings…

Posted by Jo on May 19, 2011 None comments

I do realize that doing dishes isn’t normally considered a blessing, but I also realize that being able to do dishes is…

As most of you know, I have been “under the weather”, so to speak for a couple of months now.  It all started with slip and fall in the tub and kinda went south from there, unfortunately.

At one point doctor’s were saying there seemed to be evidence of an old stroke or possibly seizure activity according to some results of a CT scan.  Well, that ended up not being the case , Praise The Lord!  But they did determine that I have a cyst (app. 1″ x 1″) on my brain.  It does not appear to be causing any problems, so they are going to leave it be.

But now we are left to wonder what the problem actually is…

I continue to have major migraines (which isn’t a new thing) and passing out occasionally (which is new since the slip and fall).  We are told that IF the passing out is from the concussion I go when I fell, it will stop on it’s own eventually.

If it’s not from that then we will have to figure out what it is from and try to treat it accordingly.  The Dr. didn’t really say how long we should wait, so I’m not sure what to do there, but I will be checking with my regular soon to see.

At one point, my regular Dr. was going to have me do a cardiac monitor and I think that’s probably my next step.

So back to my original thoughts…I have been having good days and bad (seems mostly bad lately, unfortunately) and some days it’s a struggle just to be up and out of bed.  And, some days I can get simple things done like cleaning toilets, folding laundry and doing dishes.  Today started out rough with a migraine, but has gotten better so, as I was washing dishes today, I looked up and saw this out my window…

…and thought “What a blessing to be here and be able to do my dishes today”.

Spring is my favorite time of year, to me, it represents a rebirth of things and a new start…which we can all use now and then…