Tuesday’s Tribute…
Posted on April 07, 2009Today’s Tribute goes out to the snotty nose little brat that gave my little girl the flu (whoever you may be)!! I mean, what did she ever do to you?? Huh?? Didn’t your mother ever teach you to wash your hands?? Or cover your mouth when you cough? Or sneeze into your frickin’ elbow? Huh? Well, didn’t she???
Of all the things you could have given her and her little 70 lb 12 year old body, you gave her the flu!! Like it wasn’t bad enough she only weighs 70 lbs, you went and made her lose 5 more!! People just don’t even teach their kids a little thing called manners, anymore, I tell ya!!! I mean wouldn’t the common cold have sufficed?? Nooooo, you had to give her the flu!!! Not only did she miss 3 days of school, but she didn’t even get to go to Church on Sunday, of all things!! For the love of Pete!!
For the sake of all that’s good and right in the world, keep your germs to yourself next time please, or at the very least, give them to the little jerk who sits in the corner eating is boogers all day!!! Thanks for nothin’ kid!!
this rant post was brought to you in cooperation with:
yet another Deb and Jay production.
First Post Friday….
Posted on February 12, 2009This was my first blog post on my blog. It used to be over at blog-diggidy.blogspot.com but now i have my own domain here and I host a blog on it!! I love it!! So without further ado…I give you my first blog post…
I believe that we wives and mothers set the spiritual tone in our homes. At least that’s what I have been taught. You know the saying, “When Mom’s happy, everyone is happy”. Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to crawl under the covers and hide all day?? I have those often.
I am thirty-two years old. I have been married for almost fifteen years. I have an eleven year old daughter and a would be fourteen year old son. He was killed in an auto accident at ten years old. He would be fourteen years old August 15th. His name was Elijah. And though we miss him very much EVERY day….we find strength and peace in the fact that he was saved and is now in heaven. So I deal with the loss of my son everyday. To add to that, I am Bipolar, have Borderline Personality, and OCD. Whoa!! You think I must been on twenty five prescription drugs don’t you?? I am on NONE. That’s right NONE. I read my Bible everyday, I pray to the one TRUE God everyday, and every time the Church doors are open, I’m there. That is how I treat my mania, depression and neurotic behavior!!
Now I’m here to tell you , I still have bad days, just like anyone else. BUT I am also here to tell you , I could never get through the tough times without my Lord and Saviour. I also have a wonderful husband that takes very good care of me!! I had a not-so-great childhood and I have a lot of abuse in my past (physical, emotional and sexual), but I don’t let that determine who I am. I used to, but I have given all of that to the Lord and I now I choose to be happy and content. Yes, some would say I have every right to be bitter and sad because of my circumstances, but I believe that that would hurt only me and my family and most of all God. After all, he has given me so much to be thankful for. Everything that has happened to me in my life has made me who I am today, and I kinda like who I am and where I am. So to regret anything in my life or wish it hadn’t happened would be like saying I don’t like where God has put me and what He has given me. I need to have a positive attitude and a thankful spirit.
We, as humans are all sinners, deserving hell. I know that sounds harsh but it is Biblically true. So anything above hell is a bonus in my way of thinking. God sent his only Son to die on the cross so we wouldn’t have to got to hell. I don’t even deserve that!!!! So, any blessings I receive above that I am blessed or as some may say “lucky” to have!! So, in conclusion, remember that anything you have that is good in your life , you have God to thank for it. AND I think we all have more than we deserve!! So the next time we don’t want to crawl out from under those covers, let’s try to remember what God has done for us!! Thanks for reading, Have a Happy Day, God Bless!!
There you have it folks, my first blog post…..
Funny….
Posted on February 05, 2009Got this in my e-mail this morning from my mom…funny and TRUE!!
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Got this in my e-mail today…
Posted on December 06, 2008I got this e-mail from my mom and couldn’t resist positng it. Kid’s say/do the darndest things!!! Enjoy your weekend!!
The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is
Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday’
’First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’
She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my
camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
’Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
’My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like
the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
’And then, pop!
My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her
legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
’Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there.’
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.
Now you have two choices…laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to
make someone happy!
Wordful/Wordless Wednesday…
Posted on November 26, 2008
My two favorite peeps!! My Big_Bad_Buster and Pumpkin_Seed. Can you feel the love? 
Not really much to say here, they wanted to pose for funny pics while eating pizza???
For more Wordful/Wordless Fun, visit Angie over at SevenClownCircus!!
Got this in my e-mail today…
Posted on November 22, 2008A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before
Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I
have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son
screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any
longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each
other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the
phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,”
she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father,
”You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single
thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back,
and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t
do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
”Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for
Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
In light of the recent election…
Posted on November 13, 2008While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the senator.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club house, and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above…
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil looks at him, smiles and says…….”Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”
My Assignment…
Posted on November 06, 2008I chose #3 of Mama Kat’s writing assignment this week…. So here it is…
3.) You’re sitting at work one day and receive a text message from an unrecognized number. The text says, “I have the money and hid the body.” You think this is a practical joke from a friend, so you play along at first. But the more texts you receive, the more you realize that it isn’t a joke. Write the text conversation you have with this unknown text-er.
“I told you never to contact me at this number”. ”Meet me in 10 minutes out behind the office”.
No seriously, how much money?? …No, that’s wrong isnt’ it?? LOL
LOL HAHAHA **deep breath** HAHAHAHA
Got this in my e-mail yesterday…
Posted on October 17, 2008One for the girls
Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord
my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you’ve done.
Five tips for a woman….
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important these four men do not know each other!!
Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: ‘If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts.’
Things that make you go hhhmmmm???
Posted on September 27, 2008Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, ‘Son, how old are you? ‘Eight,’ the boy replied. The man continued, ‘Do you know what these are used for? ‘The boy replied, ‘Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike.Right now, he can’t do either one.’
say what??
Posted on September 26, 2008
JACK (3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: “Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?”
MELANIE (5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Said Melanie, “If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.”
STEVEN (3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. “I love you so much, that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.”
BRITTANY (4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: “How does it know it’s me?
SUSAN (4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. “Please don’t give me this juice again,” she said, “It makes my teeth cough.”
DANI (4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: “How much do I cost?”
MARC (4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: “Why is he whispering in her mouth?”
CLINTON (5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, “I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?
JAMES (4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” Concerned, James asked: “What happened to the flea?”
TAMMY (4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”
THE SERMON
I think this Mom will never forget this particular Sunday sermon…
“Dear Lord,” the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.
“Without you, we are but dust.” He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice,
“Mom, what is butt dust?”
Me Me Me it’s all about me (LOL)
Posted on September 25, 2008
hey y’all. i am getting tons of stuff done!! my headaches are much more tolerable now and my thoughts are slowing down. i think i posted my new “joanna’s jobs” list. i find it nice to go and look at it and say oh, ok, i need to do this, this and this. not that i wouldn’t just figure it out, it’s just nice to have a plan!! and i am doing extra stuff to, when needed. i am blogging daily. i have *cough* three blogs now….yes i said three. i think that’s why i am doing so much better. i have a good outlet for all my thoughts and ideas and they aren’t clogging up my brain, lol. blog-diggidy is fun stuff and updates on me, with an occasional review (i hope). jsprik is fun family stuff, i’ll be adding tips and useful household stuff and i’ll have updates on me here, too. (this blog will also have reviews), i hope. and at but not least tummy pleasers is my new recipe blog. that will have some home and cooking tips and such as well. i am excited that i get to share these with everyone!! i am also excited that they will each be a bit different now, the first two were almost the same there for a while til i figured out what i wanted to do with them. i will be posting on each daily (at least that’s the plan). i have lots of ideas for each one and i hope you all enjoy!! take care!! see you soon!!