I miss my son each and every day…Six years ago (this November) his young life was snuffed out because of the carelessness of someone else.  Although I believe God allowed this to happen, I still feel like Eli went to heaven much much too early.

I often wonder what he would look like now, had he been able to age here on earth.  How tall would he be, would he have lost all his pre-adolescent chub, would his voice be rich and deep by now?? And then  I wonder about the “character” things.  Would he still be polite and kind and generous, I’d like to believe he would be.

Today he would have been 16.  August 15, 1994 9:27 PM.  9 lbs 4 oz, 19 inches long.

One of the happiest days of my life was when that “little man” came into my life.  All I ever wanted was to be a good wife and a good mom.  That was more important to me than anything else. I wanted to prove to God and everyone (and myself) that with His help, I could break the cycle of abuse I went through as a child and that against the world’s odds (not GOD”S) I could rise above all that.  I don’t really know if I was all that good at it, but I do know that I tried my best! And I know that Eli could have never doubted my love for him as I told him and showed him each and every day that I saw him that I loved him.  And I know I broke the cycle of abuse in my family because never once have I ever abused my kids in any way.

A lot has happened in these short 6 years that I would have never imagined would, but I am so thankful that God has allowed me and my family to hang on by His grace to what we know to be true and used it for our good.  I hope that when Eli looks down, he can see our love for God and for him and that we miss him and love him, but we are still marching forward and serving God the best way we know how.

Happy Birthday my love, I miss you and love you

Always, Mom

Tags: family, God, life, love, personal

Categories: blogging

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