Pumpkin_Seed

in cooperation with Wordful Wednesday @

I had a really bad episode the other night.  I don’t know if it was stress from camp, stress from my sons birthday being last Saturday (he would have been 15), or just my Bipolar wreaking havoc again.  In any case, it doesn’t really matter.  The fact is I woke up at 1:30 AM in a panic.  Pumpkin_seeds  bedroom is across the hall from ours and I could see light coming through at the top and bottom of her door.  For some reason, this fed my panic and I jumped out of bed  because I thought there was something wrong.  In my mind, I thought for sure someone had taken her or she was dead. I don’t know why, that’s just what I thought.

So, I open her door and she is lying there on the floor awake.  I asked her what she was doing.  She said she didn’t know, she just couldn’t sleep.  I told her it was late and that she needed to turn the light off and go to sleep. I went back to bed, but still in a panic, I couldn’t settle down.  I got up, went back to Pumpkin_seed’s room.  Her light was off now and she was in her bed.  I went to her and asked her if she was OK.  She said she was.  I asked her if she needed to talk, she said no.  I asked her if she would tell me if something was bothering her, she said yes.  I told her I loved her and she said she loved me too.

I went back to my room and went to bed, but I didn’t sleep much that night and all the next day (Sunday), I was unsettled and panicky.  I cried at the drop of a hat and was very tired and depressed.  Then Sunday evening, the panic faded and the depression lifted and I have been fine ever since.  I don’t know what happened but what I do know is that I LOVE this girl more than life itself and I don’t ever want to have to live my life without her!!

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