I posted this on my other blog as part of a “writing assignment” and thought I would share it here as well.
This is the letter I sent to the judge who would determine what would happen to the man that killed my son. He was a 65 yr. old guy. We were heading N. on the main Rd. and he was heading E. on a cross Rd. He never stopped at the stop sign. He slammed into us broadside and my 10 year old son was killed instantly. This man had 10 tickets in 7 years and half of them were accidents he caused (obviously, you don’t get a ticket for an accident you don’t cause) and if that wasn’t bad enough, he got a ticket between our accident and the hearing, AFTER he killed my son.
July 19, 2005
Eli was my firstborn. From the time we brought him home, to the time of his death, he was an almost constant joy to me. We had our moments when I was upset with him or he wasn’t too happy with me, but for the most part, we were happy. He was the one that could make everyone laugh, even when they didn’t think they wanted to. He would do the silliest things (make faces, talk funny, run into things, etc.) just to see someone smile when they were sad or gloomy. Eli was a very good baby and it was a joy to see him blossom and grow into a toddler. He was so smart, even then!! He read before Kindergarten!! He never did use much baby talk; he just learned to say things the correct way and did it.
He was two when H (his sister) came along and he adored her from day one. Always brought me things when I asked him to (diapers and such). Doted on her, played with her, patted her when she cried and told her she was ok. It’s alright, he would tell her. He was such a good big brother. As they got older, he would even protect her. I remember a couple of years ago, a boy from church threw H down a hill of snow, and when Eli heard about it, He went and threw the other boy down the hill and told him not to touch his sister again. It made me happy to see him defend her that way. Some mothers in our church came up to me after Eli went to Heaven and told me that their children had come to them and told them Eli had been protecting them from this same boy and has asked them who will protect me now??
H has never known a time without Eli. She was born and he was there, right from the start. They did everything together. Went to Grandma Greats together, Grandma and Grandpas together, the only thing they hadn’t done together was church camp, because H was not old enough. They were both looking forward to this summer so they could go to camp together. She had to go alone. It breaks my heart when she comes up to me and says “I want my Eli” and there is absolutely nothing I can do for her. That is the worst feeling in the world, knowing your child NEEDS something so profoundly and not being able to give it her. H cries at night when it is time to go to bed, she is afraid of the dark now, she can’t sleep without a radio on or the TV going. We had to move her bedroom downstairs after Eli died because she could no longer sleep in her room. Eli had known she was afraid of being in her own room (they shared one till she was 5) so he would go in her room at night and read to her or sing to her until she fell asleep and then would go back to his room or sometimes he would fall asleep in her room. H is very lonely and sad now that Eli is gone. He was her best friend. I work in the kitchen at camp and it was very hard on me to not see him come through those dining room doors and say, “Hi Mom, I love you.” I found myself looking and waiting everyday and then remembering that he would not be coming.
When Eli was old enough to understand my illness (Bipolar, Borderline Personality) he would sing to me or read to me or sit next to me just to be there when I was unable to get out of bed. He and H would draw me pictures of bright rainbows and sunshine and flowers, and pictures of themselves. He would hang them on the wall next to my bed right where I could see them when I was awake. He was always careful to be quiet and get things for himself when I was not feeling well, and H learned to do that too, by his example.
When our children were 5 and 3, we started going to a good Church in the town we live in. At the age of 7, Eli accepted Christ as his Savior. In recent months (those just before his death) he had felt that that God was calling him into full time Christian service and most recently thought he was being called to be a missionary overseas. He had been praying for his cousin for months, that he would get saved, he went to the altar at almost every altar call. He truly had a heart for others and wanted to make sure others knew they could go to Heaven when they died. He would hand out tracts and witness his faith along with the pastor of our church and us. Now, because of one mans carelessness, Eli can only be a “missionary” through his testimony and what others are told about him as a young man wanting to change the world one soul at a time!! When I think of all the things that were ahead for Eli it breaks my heart. High School, College, dating, getting married, having children, Eli will not enjoy any of those experiences because his life was cut short because of one man’s negligence.
I have forgiven the man who took my sons life. It is not my place to judge him or make him pay for what he has done. That will be left up to the court system (and someday God). BUT I do hope that when this man is “punished” for what he has done that whoever is doing the “punishing” will take into consideration what Eli has lost, though his life in Heaven is much better than anything he could ever have here, he was robbed of all the “earthly” enjoyments we have all gotten to enjoy. AND I would hope He/She would take into consideration the hurt, broken hearts, anguish, depression, insecurity and fear that those who were left behind are dealing with each and every day. Thank you so much for your time, God Bless you and yours.
Sincerely, Eli’s Mom,
Joanna R. Sprik
