stress…stress…stress….

ggggggrrrr….i am so sick of EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i can’t wait til C finds a new job and i get paid for all the jobs i’ve been doing.  it seems like there are soooooo many bills and sooooooooo little money.  i am very frustrated right now.  the job my husband does at our Church pays our daughters tuition at a Christian school and there is always some left over (especially in the summer when there is no school bill) but Pastor and his wife don’t seem to want C to take it out and spend it.  which doesn’t make any sense to me…….he EARNED that money, he should be able to do with it what he wants!!!!!!!!!   it is always a hassle to take money out, because it is in  a Church account in his name.  that way we don’t ever have to worry about the school payment being there.  BUT, it is still HIS money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and to add to the financial “complications”……i am not doing very well lately AT ALL…i think i need to go back on progesterone cream.  i ran out a while ago and just haven’t gotten anymore.  partly cause i didn’t want to spend the money on it and partly cause i wanted to see if it was really helping.  for those who don’t know, i had a radical hysterectomy sept. 2007. i had fibroids and a lot of pain and excess bleeding.  i also had my ovaries removed for a number of reasons.  anyway, i have been in surgical menopause for a few months now( i think my body just realized everything is gone LOL).  i have been having dizzy spells, nausea, headaches, aches and pains, and just plain not feeling well. some of it is probably a little of my bipolar (i think im having mixed episodes), but im thinking the majority is the menopause.  i’m just wondering how long this will last.  i don’t want to go on synthetic hormones, i really don’t want to get breast cancer!!  or any other kind for that matter!!!  is it just me or is this blog turning into a venting session???? well, i guess if i can’t put my feelings down here, where can i????????   aaaaahhhh see, i feel better already!!!  not feeling “on topside ” as of late….please keep the prayers coming!!!