well, here it is…..almost 4am and i am not tired at all!!!  i’m not even going to bother going to bed i don’t think, because i will just toss and turn and keep my darling C awake.  i have been doing that a lot lately.  very frustrating!  i think i am in a manic phase.  i am very irritated and agitated lately.  i have been having these outbursts of who knows what , lashing out at everyone.  i hate it when i get like this…i have little to no control over it. i can hardly stand to be in my own skin. UUUUGGGHHH.  i am like and angry drunk only i’m an angry manic!!!  that’s how it works for me…i am either really agitated or like excessively happy when i am manic and it’s usually the first one unfortunately for my family   but i have also been very weepy , too, so i think its a mixed episode, but i don’t know.  i told C today that i think i need to go to comm. mental health and be seen soon, if not immediately.  i think we’ll see how the weekend goes and if i’m not feeling better mon.  i will call them up and see what they say.  i haven’t seen anyone for this in a year or more, so i’m thinking it’s probably time.  i may need to go back on meds for a short time….i just don’t want to be so drugged that i can’t function properly, which has happened in the past.  we’ll see what happens…….

Tags: bipolar, life, sleep, struggles, thoughts

Categories: bipolar, life, personal, struggles, thoughts

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3 Responses

1. 

   Greybeard:

   Now you’re added to Google Reader. ;^/

   Hope you’re feeling better quickly.

   26.07.2008 17:28

2. 

   New York Acupuncturist:

   Have you ever considered acupuncture for your insomnia? Acupuncture is a wonderful treatment for insomnia and it is also very useful in bipolar for both manic and depressive phases. You should look for a good acupuncturist in your area.

   09.08.2008 04:10

3. 

   Dr.Samantha:

   Insomnia can be affected by many of factors like stress, depression, sickness, drug, and some bad lifestyle. One of the root cause is the partner who sleep beside you was the reason that make you insomnia. For info please visit this article Your Insomnia Cure Blog,& Natural Insomnia Cure

   14.08.2008 14:57